As I and thousands of my dedicated brethren on the front lines, the public school teachers across our nation, are joining the ranks of the unemployed, our young charges complain about the quality of their breakfast burritos. I hear the disgruntled comments daily – the eggs are too runny, the bacon not crisp enough. The federal government provides my students, and more than 80% of all public school students in Tucson, with free breakfast and lunch. A parent enrolling her children in public school here is not required to provide proof of income, or citizenship, to qualify for this generous program – all she must do is request that her child be provided with free breakfast and lunch. In addition, breakfast is also served in public school cafeterias all summer, so children stop in, pick up an enormous sack meal including milk, juice, entree, dessert, and chips, and go on their merry way. Several years ago, private vendors were given access to public schools and steadily populated already overcrowded hallways with vending machines offering cookies, candy bars, chips, soda, and now (wait for it) ice cream treats. Students are often arrive tardy, still licking the wrappers. Their old desks groan in protest as a new generation of obese youth demands yet another year of service. The lateniks arrive, wiping chocolate and ice cream off their iphones, in $200 Air Jordans and designer couture. Meanwhile, I haven’t bought new clothes for a series of job interviews because I know I won’t be receiving free lunch after my layoff. I won’t, in fact, be receiving utility and water bill assistance either, like those targeted in the schoolwide flyer I was asked to distribute to my students. The flyer was aimed at families needing assistance, and it implied that if one is already on food stamps and section 8 housing, one’s electric and water bill can be covered by the federal government as well. I live in a small house in what is considered a bad neighborhood, and haven’t had a cost of living raise in four years. My clothes are old and worn, and I can’t afford an iphone, let alone designer tennis shoes. I am not, however, a victim of vending machine villains, so I won’t be a recipient of the settlement from the class action lawsuit that the free-lunch-Joses will be filing when they start losing limbs to diabetes due to the negligence of the public school system. I couldn’t afford to eat so much if I wanted to.